this is the time in my life where I am sure on what I want and have the courage to pursue whatever it is. Am not as visionary as I am today… just this time that my thinking, my focused is on the next couple of months… on the next couple of years… am starting to forecast and plan the future… that’s why this news really hits me terribly… am off guarded that I dunno what to do… I never forecasted this one, nor no traceability that this thing will happen… and I dont have any contingency plan… I dont know what’s my next move… it torn me into pieces, that my dreams were shattered… but life must continue… it’s not the end, it’s only the beginning… I knew HE has a plan, it’s just that, I dont know yet what it is…. someday I will understand… I know am just in a stage of denial and shock bout the news because I already built my dreams at the back of my mind… so many plans that possibly will never be materialized… but I knew in a couple of days I will feel okay and better and ready to accept whatever it is… Thanks to my family and two close friends whom I shared the news… who gave me strength and to feel positive about it… having somebody to talk to on the difficulties am having right now, really help me a lot…. so much thankful that I have a very supportive and loving family… I feel so blessed that I know I have them at my back to lift me up specially in this very hard days of my life… thanks to my kuya who supported me eversince… and still willing and offering his support all the way, until I overcome this trial… thanks sons for the advices and idea on what to do… thanks daqz for the time, when I cannot find sleep and need someone to hear my trouble…..
10Apr2009 : two days ago, when I first heard and knew the shocking news, i was shedding tears of sorrow… today I may say that I feel much better than yesterday… still crying from time to time over a spilled milk but acceptance is already there… already in a process of healing… hoping to recover soon… physical, mental and specially emotional recovery…
13Apr2009 : today, 100% I accepted the shocking news… no more tears fallen… it’s just that it feels like am entering the hole of a needle… hoping that I will surpass all these things soon… but I feel so blessed that she’s very understanding and very considerate… I knew I gained new friendship… and I knew she’s behind me… but still, am hoping and praying that he can still wait for me (a little longer…)
17April2009 : At long last I graduated na!!!! I survive!!! All the agony I have the past few days, weeks were erased in just a second… thanks GOD!!!! but the effect of all the stressed I felt the previous days, weeks… eh binuhos lahat today… sakit ng katawan ko! whaahhh… nilalagnat tuloy ako… hopefully I will feel better na tomorrow… thanks GOD for all the blessings and guidance… and good people surrounds me… you know how thankful I am… just that, am not feeling well to personaly visit your kingdom before I went home this afternoon… but I know you already heard my prayers and thanks giving while am on my way home… let your will always be done… I know am not worthy to receive you but only say the words and I shall be healed… thanks to you… ^_^
